Homework

Mom during homework time: Osiris, you need to pay attention!
5 y.o. Osiris: How much do I have a to pay? You only give me a dollar and when I sleep in my own bed.

- Bev P., CA

SUNday

‎4 yo Emil: Sure is hot today. What day is it daddy?
Daddy: SUNday.
Emil: That's why!

~Myra M.

Poopers

‎4-y.o. Ison: Dad, I don't like to go poo at school cause I don't want teachers to wipe my butt.

Dad in a Bad Mood

‎4 y.o. Ison (after observing his dad in a foul mood): My dad's being a sore lunatic.

San Francisco

(While driving through downtown San Francisco, 11 y.o. Aisley rolls down the car window...)
Aisley: Oh, the smell of San Francisco...
4 y.o. Ison: It smells like poop!

Love & Marriage

3 y.o. Addi: I want to marry my brother
Mom: You can't marry your brother. He's your brother.
Addi: Then I want to marry my daddy.
Mom: You can't marry your daddy... Wait. What do you think marry means?
Addi: You kiss and the boy brings you flowers.

Marie I., San Leandro, CA

Happy Heart

‎4 y.o. Osiris: My heart felt like laughing and so I laughed. It must have been happy or something.

Beverly P., Union City, CA